The Billionaire Circus: Musk, Trump, and the Farce of “Streamlining” Government
By: The Zeitgeist Editorial Team
Billionaire clown car, meet government efficiency panel. It’s 2024, and President-elect Donald Trump, a man whose greatest accomplishment was turning a gold-plated grift into a global brand of dysfunction, has tapped Elon Musk—yes, that Elon Musk—to help "streamline" the U.S. government. If this doesn't scream dystopian satire, what the fuck does?
Let’s get one thing straight: this isn’t about efficiency. This isn’t about trimming fat or cutting waste. This is about handing the government over to the rich assholes who already own everything else, then patting ourselves on the back for “reducing bureaucracy” while dismantling the last scraps of public good left in this country.
Musk: The Patron Saint of Pointless Destruction
Elon Musk, whose list of “accomplishments” includes turning Twitter into a $44 billion dumpster fire and selling overpriced cars to suburbanites with a God complex, is now the self-appointed Messiah of fiscal responsibility. You know, the same guy who keeps NASA and the Pentagon on speed dial to cash in on fat federal contracts while claiming to be some libertarian savior.
The cherry on top? Musk promises to post the panel’s actions for public comment. Oh, sure. We’re supposed to believe that our collective cries of "don’t kill the Department of Education!" will sway a man whose ego is bigger than his rocket collection. Public comment isn’t democracy—it’s performative bullshit for a tech bro who already decided your voice doesn’t matter.
And let’s not forget the irony: Musk, the guy who couldn’t run Twitter without gutting its workforce and torching its valuation, now thinks he can “optimize” the government. Spoiler alert: you can’t downsize a democracy like it’s a failing start-up.
Vivek Ramaswamy: The Discount Musk
Then there’s Vivek Ramaswamy, the Pharma Prince who thinks dismantling the FDA—yes, the agency that ensures your medicine doesn’t kill you—is a good idea. Ramaswamy once called FDA regulations “unconstitutional,” which is rich coming from a man who got rich selling drugs. He’s like the wish.com version of Elon Musk: equally out of touch, but without the space rockets to distract us from the damage.
Their first big idea? A “crowdsourced” list of government waste. Perfect. Let’s hand over public policy to a Twitter poll and pray the trolls don’t vote to abolish bridges or clean drinking water.
The Illusion of “Cutting Costs”
Here’s the kicker: Musk wants to cut $2 trillion, a number that exceeds the entire discretionary federal budget. Let’s break this down. To hit that goal, they’d have to ax everything from public housing to student aid to military spending (LOL, like that’ll happen). But we all know who’ll actually get screwed here: the poor, the working class, and anyone who isn’t a billionaire dickhead with a seat on the panel.
Trump’s been here before. Remember his first term? He tried to kill Amtrak, public broadcasting, and the Special Olympics. Musk’s efficiency panel is just Reaganomics 2.0, with a splash of Silicon Valley narcissism. Spoiler: it’s not about efficiency—it’s about consolidating power and funneling wealth upward.
History Repeats, and We’re the Punchline
This isn’t the first time a Republican president brought in rich folks to “fix” government. Reagan’s Grace Commission came up with 2,500 recommendations. Guess how many were implemented? Practically none. And yet, here we are, pretending like this shitshow will be any different.
The truth is, panels like these aren’t meant to succeed. They’re Trojan horses, designed to distract us while the real damage happens behind closed doors. This isn’t reform—it’s looting.
Fuck the System, Build a New One
So, what do we do? First, we stop pretending these billionaire assholes have the answers. They’re not here to help—they’re here to dismantle, privatize, and profit. Second, we organize. The only way to fight back is through collective action, solidarity, and a willingness to say, “fuck this shit,” loud enough to shake the halls of power.
We’ve seen this game before. They tell us there’s no money for housing, healthcare, or education, but there’s always a blank check for billionaires and bombs. Enough is enough. It’s time to burn this broken system to the ground—not literally, but metaphorically—and build something that actually serves the people.
Because if we don’t fight back, the future won’t be some sleek, efficient utopia. It’ll be a wasteland of gutted public services, ruled by tech bros who think efficiency means cutting everyone who isn’t them.
Solidarity forever, comrades. Let’s fucking go.
—The Zeitgeist